News I never thought I would get, a lesson learned.

Well I was on my favored waste of time website, and a friend was on the chat function. I decided that an overly open conversation would be worthwhile, I said ‘well if you had been single, I would have asked you out.’ referring to about a month ago. She replied ‘Yeah I would have gone a on a few dates with you, I dont know how serious we could have gotten because of time…’

‘Well I should have asked you freshmen year.’ And then there it was something I never thought I would find out about me. She said ‘Seriously, I wanted you to ask me out freshmen year, but you never did.’

-The lesson learned is ask them out if you want to, there really is nothing to lose otherwise.

To look at this logically: Before you ask, there is no chance because they do not know you are interested and they are most likely as nervous as you are. Also, you are not in a relationship, you just want to be. If you ask them out, you either succeed and learn more about yourself, dating and you build confidence either way; or you fail, and the situation stays the same, but you have the ability to move on and maybe the situation will change down the road.

-An older lesson that I think necessary to add here:

Take it slow, not to the point you never ask, that’s just stupid. You should go on dates, let them know that you want to go slow. Make sure you do not push your limits and make sure you do not push theirs.

From a wiser point of view:

if you make a s.o. all of your life you limit time for yourself, your friends, your family and other opportunities that you would have never thrown away before.

I lost good friends, my family ties weakened, I stayed from my life goals, I had a hard road to get back when I got dumped.

-A lesson for people dating (common sense I think everyone should have.)

Use a condom everytime and the women should be on prenatal vitamins.

From a biologically view:

STI’s will ruin your life. Painful treatments, Causing your loved one to get infected and possibly die while you still live, giving it genetically to your kids.

Condom greatly reduce the risk of the female pregnant.

For the women, prenatal vitamins are just a way to make your body healthy if you get pregnant, they do not increase the likelihood of becoming pregnant. Many birth defects can be avoided if you take them, and they are beneficial to your own health. GO ASK YOUR DOCTOR.

Sorry for the rant, but I think that important things are left unsaid,

-NK

The one thing that gets me mad

I will start to defend my side of a debate, the issue is normally of no importance at all. As I am stating my views, I evidently sound very set in whatever I am saying. The other person will go: ‘oh, I don’t want to take about it. You are a mad about it.’ When someone tells me that I am mad I get mad, I was not mad before, really all I was doing was supporting my side of a debate, the matter was not at all personal. I am louder then other people, if I quit myself for long periods of time, I only sound louder to other people when I start to speak without controlling it. Then they tell me that I am yelling. I was not yelling before, so to prove it I yell ‘this is me yelling’ then I go back to my normally loud voice ’so do not tell me I am yelling. The one person that provokes this response in me will just walk off. It fucking goes unchecked and I get more pissed off.

It is upsetting that people tell me what I am doing and refuse to continue the conversation. The only time I get wrapped up enough to forget to control my voice is when I want to learn something new. So they get upset that I am loud, I am I loud person you don’t get upset when a quite person gets quite you kindly ask them to speak up. Ask me to kindly keep it down, instead of act like I am attacking you and I will not get mad that the thing that makes me different is something that is offensive.

I am talking louder then you are, not yelling. That is like telling someone that they are making a stupid mistake without telling them what the mistake is and telling them how they would go at correcting it. Of course I am going to get pissed off when people tell me how I am felling. And the more pissed I get the less i care how loud I am, then I speak in my naturally loud voice. They tell me I am yelling and I prove I am not. They walk off, then I am pissed. but yelling at them proves that I cared in the first place.

The loud and evedently offensive,

-NK

You cannot trust anyone….

that cannot trust on you.

I am not saying that you have to give all you have to another person all at once, by all means go at it at your own pace, but you cannot expect someone to trust and respect you if you do not do the same in return. Lets face it, people are selfish. And the only way that we can work on fixing the lack of trust is to start to give it.

Any relationship (interaction between two people) requires a level of trust and respect. No matter what kind of day I am having I refrain from walking into a fast food restaurant and bitching out the person behind the counter, they play a role in making the food that I am going to be eating. If want to be able to trust that the person is not going to clear his throat into your hamburger, a small amount of respect is necessary.

If you think that your spouse is not respecting the sanctity of your marriage, it is time to seek professional help. Both for you singularly and as a couple. In the case of someone not respecting you, it is most likely that you have not trusted them.

Sometimes trusting another person is sitting down and discussing your concerns, if it gets to the point where you think they are having sex with a co-worker, chances are that you have not been completely open and honest. It is true that long lasting relationships can be built on lies, but healthy relationships are based on trust and honesty.

If it gets to the point where you are not sure of the answer to the question being asked of you, be honest and say that you do not know. If  you are afraid that you will hurt them, tell them you do not know how to say it right. It is still being honest to say that there are things you are not ready to discuss, just know that there reaction deserves respect, as does yours, and compromises have to be made.

Trust and Respect are give and take, in order to trust someone  you have to know that they trust you.

-Nk

Ok, now I need some help.

I have been single for over two years now. It is to the point where I want a real relationship and I physically need to have sex. I can talk to women, but I can not really imply anything sexual without being nervous. Most of the nervousness comes from the fact that when I do, I lose contact with the female completely. I have heard back from one and she thanked me for teaching her to be open to loving another person. The rest just up and disappeared, I would love to know what I did wrong. Because if I agree that it was wrong or there was a misunderstanding I could try to fix how I word things, certain things I do.

The mix of my emotional, mental and physical needs makes me want to puke. The fact that it happens over and over and over, leads me to believe that something is making me undateable. I am so far lost on the rules of dating, the rules of attraction, all rule the imply a girlfriend at all really.

-NK