I found out that for an outgoing person I am very shy. I think that some of my outgoing nature is in fact a way of me being shy. I talk when I am nervous, I am nervous because I am shy. I do not think I have ever been open at the right moments.
It gets to the point where I just say everything that is on my mind, just to avoid people getting close. This can find some wondrous, but it normally drives potential partners away. I will use my intuitive nature to be abrasive instead of charming. I think to use information gained to be more appealing is lying, for that matter I think what I am doing is worse. In that moment when the person is decided what grade of person you have the potential to be, I open my mouth and give them a life lesson.
If you want someone to stop talking to you just stare them in the eye and tell them what you think is wrong with them and then give them advice to fix it. That’s the way to make enemies, and if done right you can worsen their situation more then fix it.
I found where I need to place my filter. There are things that will sound rash, because that is the only way to say them, so if they have to be said say them. Though look out for things that could be said at a better time or in a better way. Timing and composition are why there are Therapists. First off because the right way can help a person progress and second because people open their mouths and say things that are hurtful or inappropriate.
Found a practical definition of inappropriate: To assume something and speak for another person.
Who knew that cuss words weren’t the only inappropriate things to say. People are going to react in their own way and time. To have a solid frame on who you are and then lead by example, has turned out to be a good technique to help other people learn who they are.
The main reason I write these blogs is to clarify what things mean to me and to have some clear definitions to things. The words themselves have no applicable use, they are however useful. Because you can think about what the words say and then turn them into something that is applicable to you.
Think, ask, communicate, help, learn, GROW.
-NK
